Life Lessons I Learned from Watching Clash of the Titans

Okay so I’m kinda riffing off Pax Romano’s gig over at Billy Love’s Stu, but imitation is the highest form of flattery right? Anyway here are the things about life I learned from Clash of the Titans, in theaters now.

Have multiple fabulous costume changes—one outfit is never enough for one movie.
I could not help but notice how many different looks Io, Perseus’s love interest, has in Clash—all of them fabulous of course. She starts off in a drapey number and pristine up-do, revealing only her face. This gives way an off-the-shoulder tunic and loose locks when she has to get down and dirty fighting giant scorpions. Io then ditches the cape and sets her look to stun with a fancy drape adorned with a knitted, faux fur accent. Just goes to show you girls, make your pieces multi-task and you can look better than Aphrodite herself.

 Accept gifts, they might come in handy
Perseus persists (wow, that was a lot of s’s) in refusing the gifts of his father Zeus, like Pegasus and a magical sword, both of which save his skin in the end. So take gifts as they come, you never know when you’ll need them.

 Don’t be afraid of people who are different
The geni make look like magical freaks made of driftwood , but if you’re injured by Hade’s poison they can cure you in a cinch with balls of blue fire. Don’t be so quick to judge.

Arachnids of unusual size do exist…in this movie.

Don’t piss off the higher power
This is pretty straightforward considering the theme of the film is “Damn the Gods” The boasts of the Andromeda’s mother, the Queen of Argos, that her daughter is more beautiful than Aphrodite, earns the girl a lunch date with the Kraken and the toppling of Zeus’ statue by soldiers incurs the wrath of his bro, Hades. Pissing off the gods is generally a bad idea.

Sibling rivalry is universal
Ralph Fiennes and Liam Neeson actually look like they could be brothers in this film, and the creepy resemblance only intensifies the deadly sibling rivalry between the two. Apparently Zeus got all the toys as a kid while Hades had to make do with a cardboard box and some imagination. That’s so not fair!
Everyone needs a rockin’ guitar riff
I’ll admit the clincher for me seeing this film was the music from the trailer. Same thing happened with 300 when they used NIN, I was hooked. The song is The Bird and the Worm by The Used, my new favorite.

So what did you learn from Clash of the Titans? Leave a comment and tell me all about it.

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