Monster Scholar

My hubby and I have been kicking ideas around for this year's Halloween costume and we decided on the dynamic duo of Stretch, the disc jockey from Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 and Leatherface. The decision was inspired by my husband's nine to five gig at a local deli, where he slices meat all day. TCM 2 is one of the films cited in Carol Clover's theory on the final girl and also features that unforgettable scene where Stretch keeps Leatherface at bay by doing a bump and grind with his saw. ("How good are you?") I need to freecycle for a non-working chainsaw (we can remove the motor and the chain) and I can get rest of both costumes at the local thrift store. The entire thing really hinges on finding the chainsaw at this point. If that falls through our back-up costumes will be a pair of zombies from Dawn of the Dead. Some torn clothing, pasty blue makeup and a couple of ghastly head wounds should do the trick. Oh, and here's yet another bad costume I forgot t...

For most Halloween is a time of make-believe, where people can dress up and become the thing they've wanted to be all year. But sometimes the misguided support of friends, family and the local Kmart causes things to go horribly awry. So, here's a sampling of the good, the ugly and the just plain worst Halloween costumes ever... Rock Lobsta There is nothing funny about pretending to cook a baby dressed as a lobster! Okay maybe it is a little funny, but who would do that to their child!?! Plug me in baby ... As a married woman there is nothing I hate more than those kitschy, tacky couples outfits I see hanging on the rack at my local Party City. The nut and bolt, lock and key, bacon and eggs, salt and pepper, and the list goes on ad infenitum. Not only are these costumes boring and unimaginative, their effectiveness hinges on sexual innuendo that borders on sexism. If I were ever to wear one of the ghastly outfits, I would purposely switch gender roles just to jazz it up. Toight...

After months of waiting it’s finally October, that magical time that justifies my obsession with monsters, the one month no one looks at me askance for wondering who is the better killer, Freddy or Jason? As I’m sure it is for most of you out there in Monster Land, Halloween is my refuge. The one day out of the year that I can enjoy what I love most with ghoulish delight. Here are some snapshots of my Halloweens past to let you know what I mean. Click here to see other bloggers who are participating in the countdown.