Monster Scholar

While trying to find out what Patrick Bateman really does with that wire coat hanger in Am erican Psycho , I stumbled upon a list compiled by Fandomania’s Lyn Cherowbrier of 10 Men You’d Like To Hook Up With, But Really Shouldn’t . Among them were Captain Jack Harkness of Dr. Who and Edward Cullen of Twilight . The whole concept inspired me to make my own list of ten men in the horror genre we might be tempted to hook up with, but should really think twice about. Ash ( Evil Dead I , II and Army of Darkne ss ) The Pros: He’s the King, baby. With smoldering good looks and rippling abs he’ll sweep you off your feet faster than you can say “pillow talk.” He’s got a sharp sense of humor and he has his own boomstick. The Cons: Most of his girlfriends end up being possessed by evil Kandarian demons and either killed, dismembered or dumped. He has a so-so memory (Clatto Verata….Nickel?) which can bode ill for anniversaries and birthdays. Ash also has a chainsaw for a hand which could turn ple...

Along with several other horror bloggers, I was asked by B-sol of the Vault of Horror to contribute ten must see titles for anyone with a fledgling interest in the horror genre. I submitted my list of movies ranked from one to ten and using some infinitely complicated geometric algorithm, B-Sol proceeded to compile a list of the top 35. Being the nerd that I am, I put together the titles on my must see list from a purely academic standpoint, as they reflect major trends and themes in horror prevalent during their time periods. 1. The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (1920) : An exquisite specimen of German expressionism, this 1920’s film employs chiaroscuro lighting, stylized acting and sharp angles to create a nightmare in black and white. 2. James Whale’s The Bride o f Frankenstein (1935) : Whale’s work will always hold a special place in my heart as the best of Universal’s classic monster films. That said the composition of Bride is poetry in motion, especially the lighting and use of cant...

I caught a story on the morning news about Jeff Kepner, the first man in America to receive a double hand transplant. The family of a 23-year old Pennsylvania man donated the hands to Kepner who looks forward to “hold[ing his] daughter's hand and…grandchildren's hands someday.” Kepner’s amazing story reminded me of several horror films that use disembodied hands to strike fear into the hearts of moviegoers. So here they are in the list of Top Ten Evil Hands. 10. The Crawling Hand (1963) This horror camp-fest was featured on episode 106 of Mystery Science Theater 3000, and stars an astronaut’s dead hand that plummets to earth and begins to strangle the living. An astronaut is on his way back to earth when he begs mission control to self destruct his rocket before it lands. They do and the poor spaceman is blown to bits. The hand is discovered by college student Paul Lawrence who keeps it to himself for further study, but the hand soon evades his control and begins killing innoce...

I recently picked up remake of The Fog on a lark, but it got me thinking about what other horror films capitalize on wicked weather phenomenon. As the survivor of a week of triple digit temperatures here in Texas, I know that weather can be scary. So here they are, for better or worse, my Top 10 Weather-Related Horror Movies. 10. White-Out (2003) A group of teenagers go on a ski trip to Big Bear, California to participate in a snowboarding contest. But things turn foul as people start to disappear and when “xtreme players compete…the snow gets red.” Whatever that means. 9. B lood Tide (1982) Evil lurks in the ocean depths in this thriller starring James Earl Jones as Frye, a man who accidentally unleashes an ancient monster with a hunger for young virgins on a Grecian fishing town. Jones is able to subdue the monster in the film’s closing sequence, with a knife and some C-4. Kaboom. 8. S n ow Day, Bloody Snow Day (2005) This zombie comedy is set in Seattle where residents, besieged by...