Top Ten List of Unconventional Vampires...because being sick sucks

I’m fighting a nasty cold over here so I figured I’d make a list of my favorite unconventional vampires. When someone mentions the word “vampire” you think of a fanged creature who sucks blood, burns in daylight, sleeps in a coffin and dons a fabulous cape. But that’s where you’d be wrong. This bunch of bloodsuckers challenges the vampiric stereotypes to include energy vamps, vamps without fangs and even dancing undead!
 Rise: Blood Hunter
Starring Lucy Liu after her fall from Charlie’s Angels fame, Blood Hunter is about an out of control bunch of vamps who turn Lucy’s character into a creature of the night. Sans fangs, these bloodsuckers prefer small daggers to get the job done. The movie was horrible, but some consider it worth seeing Liu scantily clad in a bra and covered in blood.
 Martin
This barely pubescent bloodsucker uses sedatives to knock out his victims, and then slits their wrists to drink their blood. Persecuted by his overly religious family, Martin believes he is one of the undead and stalks train stations and alleyways for unsuspecting young women and hobos.
 Cronos
From the mind of Guillermo del Toro comes a tale of vampirism by insect. An elderly antique dealer is bitten by a bug that restores his lost youth, but it also leaves him with a hankering for the red stuff.
 Dracula: Pages from a Virgin's Diary
Care to dance? This silent black and white number will get your toes tapping as it presents a ballet interpretation of Dracula with a Chinese actor in the title role.
 The Hunger
Aren’t vampires supposed to burn in sunlight? Not if you’re David Bowie and Catherine Deneuve. This film re-imagines the vampire as a hip club goer that can party all day and suck all night.
Lifeforce
Tobe Hooper brings energy vampires to the silver screen when astronauts unwittingly bring life sucking alien vampires back to earth on a return trip from space.
 Rabid
A woman infected with a rabies-like virus spreads her affliction across Montreal, turning her victims into blood hungry maniacs.
 Vampire’s Kiss
Nick Cage plays a New York yuppie who believes he’s been transformed into a vampire after being bitten by a bat. The question becomes, is he really a vampire or just out of his mind? Either way Cage indulges his inner vamp by snacking on unsuspecting New Yorkers.
 Near Dark
Instead of the elite aristocrat, this film portray vamps as roving southerners moving from town to town in a van with blacked out windows. So much for the good life.
 Shadow of the Vampire
A far cry of the sexy vampires of the 20th century, this film stars Willem Defoe as the real Count Orlok, transforming Murnau’s Nosferatu into a snuff film.

You’ll note that I did not include the vampires of Twilight because…well…no sparkling allowed.

Comments

  1. xxxxxxxxMarch 16, 2010 at 8:20 PM

    Near Dark was a classic different story for sure.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I Like Horror MoviesMarch 20, 2010 at 11:30 AM

    This list certainly would have been incomplete without MARTIN, but I am happy to see RABID on there as a pleasant surprise for one of Cronenberg's lesser known films! Great list MS!

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

And Now This: Pruitt Taylor Vince Creeps Me Out

Image
“His irises tremble violently as the camera fixes on his glassy gaze, and before you know it, you've once again been entranced by the character with whom you're unsure if you should fear or sympathize.”— Actor Bio on Blockbuster Onlin e I just got finished watching Captivity , one of the After Dark Horrorfest films starring Elisha Cuthbert as a kidnapped supermodel with Daniel Gillies and Pruitt Taylor Vince as her captors. Vince gives an unsettling performance as the psychotic Ben Dexter, who owns his own catering business to finance his and his brother's hobby of capturing young women and keeping them in the basement. Vince’s roles always leave me with a feeling of lingering creepiness, so I thought I’d do a brief review of the weirdos he’s played in the past. Monster (2003) Vince plays Gene the stuttering "John" in Monster, one of the many victims of Aileen Wuornos, a prostitute from Daytona Beach who became a serial killer. Identity (2003) Malcolm Rivers is
Read more

Zombieland Trailer Censors Undead Boobs

Image
I was on MySpace when a Zombieland promo popped up with Woody Harrelson and that kid from Juno giving tips on how to survive a zombie apocalypse. This bit of fun seguewayed into the trailer and I was about to click off when I noticed the zombie stripper that chases the Asian businessman out of the nudie club (an image that has stuck with me since my first viewing of the redband trailer) was now wearing a digital bikini top! Check out the regular and restricted trailers at the Zombieland website to witness the hilarity.
Read more

Life Lessons I Learned from Watching Clash of the Titans

Image
Okay so I’m kinda riffing off Pax Romano’s gig over at Billy Love’s Stu , but imitation is the highest form of flattery right? Anyway here are the things about life I learned from Clash of the Titans, in theaters now. Have multiple fabulous costume changes—one outfit is never enough for one movie. I could not help but notice how many different looks Io, Perseus’s love interest, has in Clash—all of them fabulous of course. She starts off in a drapey number and pristine up-do, revealing only her face. This gives way an off-the-shoulder tunic and loose locks when she has to get down and dirty fighting giant scorpions. Io then ditches the cape and sets her look to stun with a fancy drape adorned with a knitted, faux fur accent. Just goes to show you girls, make your pieces multi-task and you can look better than Aphrodite herself.   Accept gifts, they might come in handy Perseus persists (wow, that was a lot of s’s) in refusing the gifts of his father Zeus, like Pegasus and a magical
Read more