Monster Scholar

My first though obviously is, could there be a crappier remake? But for those of you wanting more, here are some of my additional thoughts on MBV, accompanied by stills and funny captions.  Did anyone else notice the striking similarity between the killer and Dr. Satan’s monster from House of 1000 Corpses? You would have to be dumb, deaf and blind not to figure out that Tom was the killer about halfway through with all that mirroring movement with the killer and him being gone when the murders occur. Who do they think we are, Lois Lane? The movie jumps forward ten years to pick up with the main characters after the massacre, but no one has aged a day? That’s Hollywood for you. In an excellent excuse for full frontal female nudity, an irate woman goes after a trucker in the parking lot after he videotapes them having sex. Favorite line—Trucker: “Put some clothes on before some kid sees you.” Axel is a slut and Sarah is an idiot for taking him back. Hearts make the best candy.

Today’s February 28 and you know what that means. It’s the end of Women in Horror Month. We had a great time, had a few laughs and I’m looking forward to it again next year. In honor of this last day of women in horror, the monster of the month for February is none other than my favorite woman in horror, the Countess Marya Zaleska played by the bombshell Gloria Holden. Read more about Gloria’s exploits at Day of the Woman and more about Dracula’s Daughter at the Tomb of the Headless Werewolf . Now prepare feast your eyes on Countess Marya Zaleska, the terrifying offspring of Dracula.

In honor of Women in Horror Month, I'm testing your knowledge of female horror actresses. The prize, a pristine copy of the hardback coffee table book, Hammer Glamour, featuring all your favorite Hammer girls and then some. The first to post their comment with the names of the following actresses and their e-mail address will receive this fantastic piece of nostalgia absolutely free.

When you think of the phrase “dead wet girl” (to borrow a term from David Kalat the author of J-Horror: The Definitive Guide to The Ring, The Grudge and Beyond ) the image that might come to mind is the ending of the 2002 blockbuster, The Ring. In one of the scariest moments in horror to date, the audience watches transfixed as the dripping ghost of Samara crawls out of the TV screen and to take the life of her terrified victim. But what is it with Dead Wet Girls in Japanese horror and their remakes? Why are they dead? Why are they wet? Why are they girls? And what is up with all that long black hair? To get a deeper understanding of Dead Wet Girls and their terrifying power in horror, let’s break down the moniker, Dead. Wet. Girl. Dead. Of course death is a prerequisite to becoming a ghost, but Dead Wet Girls move beyond the standard understanding of ghosts in Western culture. In the western world, spooks are recognizable as other from living people and there is a sharp demarcatio

I caught a screening of the much anticipated Wolfman remake while I was attending a conference in Albuquerque this weekend. This latest debut of the werewolf in 21st century cinema seeks to offer fans a more enjoyable, adult alternative to the buff, exploding werewolves of the Twilight franchise. But while The Wolfman had some decent horror elements (heads, arms and other appendages fly when the lycanthrope gets loose) at its core, it is essentially a romantic pastiche of a horror film. To give an example of what I mean, think Bram stoker’s Dracula by Francis Ford Coppola. While Coppola’s film employs definite aspects of horror (bloodletting and monstrous transformations included) everything is peripheral to the love story between Dracula and his reincarnated beloved, Mina Harker. The same is true of The Wolfman. Lawrence Talbot returns home after many years abroad to discover the cause of his brother’s sudden and violent death. Once home, he meets his brother’s intended, the bea

Every woman knows the magic of a perfect pair of shoes. Slip them on and you transform from the average housewife or soccer mom into a slinky sex goddess, powerful and confident in your six inch stilettos. A woman will do anything for a premier pair of pumps. Cinderella’s stepsisters were willing to hack off heel and toe to make those glass slippers fit and Dorothy went head to head with the Wicked Witch of the West for her sparkly ruby footwear. The unbreakable bond between a woman and her shoes is at the heart of the Korean horror film, The Red Shoes. Viewers might be confused by the title of the film because the cursed shoes that appear in the film are actually pink. This color change (as far as I can remember) was the result of a copyright dispute involving another pair of prominent red slippers in cinema. Ahem. A woman named Sun-jae finds herself on the business end of horrible curse when she picks up a pair of seemingly abandoned shoes on the subway. But these shoes aren’t y