Who says today’s youth doesn’t appreciate the genre? My college is hosting a high school debate competition and I spied the following guide ...

How To Survive a Horror Movie

Who says today’s youth doesn’t appreciate the genre? My college is hosting a high school debate competition and I spied the following guide on “How to Survive a Horror Movie” on a fourth floor blackboard.

So without further ado, I bring you the Creekview Debate Squad’s tips on how to survive a horror movie. Enjoy.

Don’t hide behind sheer objects.

Don’t save the blond girl—save yourself!

Don’t trip over non-existent things.

Be the killer.

Don’t die.

Stay out of the basement and/or attic.

Also...
Don’t separate.
Run fast.

Trip the people you don’t like (or are sacrifices).

Cars are your friends.
Don’t seek out scary noises.
The killer has to come to you, not you to the killer.
Don’t hide under the bed.
Don’t run backwards.

Don’t travel alone.

Gang up on the killer
.
Don’t open the door.

9 comments:

  1. These are great. I really love the trip the people you don't like one.

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  2. Very good tips. I dig the photos you added. :)

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  3. The Killer is not dead, so pick up a shovel or some other object, bash his head in and then set him on fire. Once he's been reduced to ashes, take said ashes, put them in an air tight container, then place said container into a bottomless pit, seal the pit with a lead door and build a three hundred foot wall around the pit. Make sure the wall is stationed with guards at all times.

    That ought to do it!

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  4. Surely they've missed the most important one? Never assume that the killer is dead and throw away your weapon whilst turning around.

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  5. William,
    When push comes to shove, look out for number one.

    Thanks forestofthedead!

    Pax,
    That killer aint coming back.

    Igloo Keeper,
    An important tip. I also enjoy the fact that you used the word "whilst"---it's such a fun word and more people should use it, not just stuffy academics.

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  6. I enjoy 'whilst'.
    I also like 'ergo' but I've never had the guts to use it.

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  7. Your page is so cool!!! I am following it. I hope to learn and work with you in the future of horror films... I have my new blog... http://weekendhorror.blogspot.com

    I hope you have a chance to check it out. Stay Scary!

    Horror Queen!
    Weekend Horror

    ReplyDelete